Theology Begins with Mommy

What influences children’s ideas of God and his character? Studies have shown that children’s 
“developing concept of God centers on characteristics observed in that child’s earthlyparents” 
[fn1]. In other words, to young children, God is the amalgamation of all of mommy’s
and daddy’s most prominent character traits. Put yet another way, theology starts with mommy
and daddy [fn2]. One study found, for example, that “When parents were perceived as nurturing
and powerful… children perceived God as both nurturing and powerful” [fn 3]. Although both
fathers and mothers influence children’s God-concepts, it is mothers that have the greater impact
on children’s and young adults’ God concepts [fn 4]. These studies have shown that parents,
especially mothers, “continue to exert influence on their sons’ and daughters’ religious
perceptions and concepts of God” even well into adulthood [fn4]. These modern day insights
invite a re-reading of the first verse of the Book of Mormon, in which Nephi writes, “I, Nephi,
having been born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my
father, yeah having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God.” Perhaps,
then, Nephi’s knowledge of the “goodness” of God grows out of the “goodliness” of his parents.
In this sense, parents, and especially mothers, become for their children the tactile face of
God, a child’s first spiritual experience, and a holy sacrament. A child’s relationship with her
mother becomes the foundational experience on which to build a life of faith. A mother’s love is
a lexicon of divine love; it is is the metaphor by which God teaches us about His divine love. For
example, “When Isaiah, speaking messianically, wanted to convey Jehovah’s love, he invoked
the image of a mother’s devotion. ‘Can a woman forget her sucking child?’ he asks. How absurd,
he implies, though not as absurd as thinking Christ will ever forget us” [fn5]. Isaiah 46:3–4
describes God as having carried the house of Jacob “from the womb” [fn6]. In Isaiah 66:13, the
Lord tells Jerusalem, “As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you” [fn6]. Jesus’
lament over Jerusalem evokes a mother’s comfort and concern. He says, “How often have I
desired to gather your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings” (Luke 13:34

            As Jeffrey R. Holland recently stated, “No love in mortality comes closer to
approximating the pure love of Jesus Christ than the selfless love a devoted mother has for her
child” [fn5]. He reminds us that many words used to describe our Savior and his atonement can
aptly be applied to our mothers. He says, Prophesying of the Savior’s Atonement, Isaiah wrote, 
“He hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows.” A majestic latter-day vision emphasized that “[Jesus]
came into the world … to bear the sins of the world.” 2 Both ancient and modern
scripture testify that “he redeemed them, and bore them, and carried them all the
days of old.” A favorite hymn pleads with us to “hear your great Deliv’rer’s
Bear, borne, carry, deliver. These are powerful, heartening messianic words.
But can you hear in this language another arena of human endeavor in which we
use words like bear and borne, carry and lift, labor and deliver? As Jesus said to
John while in the very act of Atonement, so He says to us all, “Behold thy
In her body and in the miracle of birth, a mother is a map of the Plan of Salvation and a
type of the Savior. In gestation, a baby lives in the cosmos of her mother, nurtured entirely by
her body. In this sense, a mother is like God, who sustains all life and in whom, as Paul says,
“we all live and move and have our being” (Acts 17). A mother’s body is a veil—a boundary
between worlds, a threshold of existence, a portal into mortality. Through birth, she ushers spirit
children of God through the veil of her body into mortality. The physical birth is symbolic of the
spiritual rebirth through the waters of baptism and the blood of Jesus Christ: “Inasmuch as ye
were born into the world by water, and blood, and the spirit, which I have made, and so became
of dust a living soul, even so ye must be born again into the kingdom of heaven, of water, and of
the Spirit, and be cleansed by blood, even the blood of mine Only Begotten” (Moses 6: 59). After
she births the baby, her body forever bears the marks of her pregnancy and labor. This is not
unlike Jesus Christ, who still bears the marks of his sacrifice for us in His body. Christ says that
he cannot forget us because he “has graven us in the palms of [His] hands.” Similarly, our
mothers cannot forget us because we too are graven onto her body—our existence is etched in
There are many, many people who are not mothers—because of their single status,
infertility, or other reasons— who likewise deserve our honor on Mother’s Day because they
partake in the spirit of motherhood, which is the “nurture and affirmation of children… the time-
honored principle of altruism, the principle of unselfish devotion to the welfare of others, applied
expressly to that most vulnerable and most precious of all categories of human beings, our
children” (“My Undelivered Mother’s Day Talk”). There are many kinds of non-biological
“mothers”: teachers, coaches, adoptive parents, foster parents, primary teachers, den leaders, et
cetera. To all of these, I give my highest praise. To those who yearn to have children but have
not yet had the opportunity, I offer my love and prayers. If I have said anything today that has
caused you pain or discomfort, I ask for your forgiveness.

            To Chelsee: I am glad that Walden will learn of God’s love through your love for him.
He is guaranteed to have a true conception of God’s love and nurturance through your

                  [1] Holland, “Hands of the Fathers”
[2] Although children’s ideas of God are influenced by their interactions with parents, there is
still an objective God with objective and eternal characteristics. Joseph Smith said, “It is the first
principle of the Gospel to know for a certainty the Character of God.” Someone might form
many ideas about Africa based on their experience watching The Lion King and reading Things
Fall Apart and Heart of Darkness—some of these ideas would be more accurate ideas than
others—but Africa itself remains an objective reality. Similarly, we may form many ideas about
God based on the imperfect model of our parents, yet God is still an objective Reality. Thus, it is
hasty to rush to the conclusion that if our ideas of God’s character are so closely related to our
ideas of our parents, then God must not exist as anything more than a projection of our desires to
continue to be parented into adulthood. There are other compelling possibilities, such as that God
intentionally organized the family to give children models of His true character.
[3] “Parent-Child Relationships and Children’s Images of God,” Journal for the Scientific Study
[4] “Mother, Father, and Self: Sources of Young Adults’ God Concepts”
[5] Holland, “Behold Thy Mother.”
[6] http://www.uscatholic.org/articles/201406/can-we- call-god- mother-28984